Wednesday, September 27, 2006
eeeee I hate having to be so politically correct.
typetypetype, deletedeletedelete.
Until I dunno what else to say anymore, I just don't reply. haha
How?
Another case of do also die, don't do also die.
Will someone help me?
get the hint, get the hint, GET THE HINT WON'T YOU!!! *faints* really, what -- -----. (pun intended) hahahaha
Best thing to do now, ignore. Act busy. Do project. *nods head*
she uttered nonsense at 9:57 PM
I dunno why that triggered it off, but I think I can. I really think I do now.
We'll see next week, if I'm able to.
I'm quite certain, and quite gladly so. (:
Dunno if you'll see this, but this long-overdue thanks is for the sms that night. I'm really really grateful, and it meant so much. Did you know I was on my toes the entire night? Didn't know how you'd respond. haha. Anyways, thank you.
Next up, project datelines and quizzes to concentrate on. Off I go, tata.
she uttered nonsense at 8:06 PM
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Bahh. Ranting post coming up, don't read if you don't want to.
Just cos I helped you a few times doesn't mean you have the right to take it for granted that I'm going to
do your job rite? Helpful also cannot, don't help also cannot. I know you're sincerely busy, but can't you find someone else? Auto already leh. Can't make it? Get yuqin. I feel so taken advantaged of.
...
Like I said, I know it's not your fault, I'm just pmsing okay?
AND! I thought I said to check it when I sent to you?? I gave a dateline, so when I didn't hear from anyone, I thought all was right. So that's why I couldn't get you this afternoon when I needed help huh. Everyone disappears when you need help. *poof* Does this mean if I didn't probe more about why I couldn't contact you, you wouldn't tell me about the change at all?
AND AND!! One thing I really dun like, is being maligned. I was being very helpful la!! I went all the way to explain every single thing, answer every query. I was consistent. You asked, I answered. What you wanted, I offered. Okay again this isn't the person's fault, it's the bloody email system, but I did reply!! I don't like the fact that you made it sound as if I didn't do my job properly, when in the first place it isn't mine anymore, yet I still did it, and went all the way even. What for?! And I thought emails were reliable.
Pffffffffffft. You all also suay la. Come and irritate me at the wrong time. I'm pmsing. Shoo.
They say if you keep thinking about something, it may come true. So here goes nothing:
i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home i want to go home *chants*
sigh.
she uttered nonsense at 12:19 AM
Thursday, September 21, 2006
thumb hurt alot, alot alot alot
i wanna go home
i really wanna go home :(
maybe it's pms
i hope it is, den it won't last too long
even bolstie didnt do the trick last night
*sayangs bolstie*
i think i managed to learn alr
from now on u will see a happy yq regardless
cheers cheers cheers
drowning
she uttered nonsense at 5:44 PM
Sunday, September 17, 2006
^.- *raises eyebrow* That's weird....
she uttered nonsense at 4:08 PM
I love you jiakai. Let you, me and jinx be a threesome les shall we, and guys can go and die. hahah. Ok ltr andrew and yw scold me.
w says I'm too naive, too trusting. Probably. I guess I should have considered the possible implications, but I didn't. And it's my fault. Maybe I'm still in the old world, where I thought I could just vent my frustrations and unload my complains on people. From now on, I'm going to keep my bloody mouth shut, and smile at the world regardless.
My bro just said I'm girly and sissy for trying to wax my legs.
... Thank you very much. In case you haven't realized, I'm a girl.
-.- chao grarrl. hahahahah
I'm starting to be very slack!! pfffft. Disgusted with myself, but I just can't push myself anymore! Sad. :( And taxation is no longer fun, it's sibeh stressful. It's like law but closed book. bahhhhh.
They say it's pantang to say this, but I'm so proud of myself that I can't help it!
Last lesson I didn't stall the car at all!! haha (:This weekend is supposed to be clearup time! But things aren't going as planned. Necessary elements are MIAing!!
I shun cos I don't want. I don't want cos I'm afraid. I'm afraid cos I've been through, and I didn't exactly come out unscathed, to say the least. jk says it takes time, and I have to admit it does. Once bitten twice shy. And forever more.
解脱
爱是不夜城 回忆像星辰
热泪越沸腾 我越感觉有点冷
变了心的人 越想越伤人
枯坐到清晨 阳光替房间开了灯
想 若结局一样 又何苦再想
伤 若让人成长 我为什么怕分手的伤
解脱 是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走 我有自由好好过
解脱 是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔 我总会实现一个梦
心里有一种渴望勇敢的念头
不要爱我的人再担心我
I've been getting a bit of it recently, and that's a good sign. Slowly, surely. As james's nick will say, ---- --.
she uttered nonsense at 3:01 PM
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Everytime it's the Phillips fair, my dad becoms like a little boy in a toy store. Somemore it's not a place where they sell the old stuff at low prices, it's where they sell the NEW stuff at low prices. This afternoon when I woke up and went down, I saw boxes and boxes of electronics stuff. It's as if everything there was free liddat. Add on to the fact my bro went with him...... TWO electronic geeks gone loose. *faints* ohwells. So now I have a new DVD recorder, some
codless electronic broom-like thingy, and some other i-duno-wad stuff. Codless cleaning equipment.....
cool.I think I went abit too far last night. oops. Not that u will see this, still, sorry.
See, I'll never get rid of all the bad karma surrounding me.
I realize I tend to write shit poems when I'm super emotional. ahwells.
fuggit fuggit fuggit. WAD HAVE I DONE?!
iknewishldhafiknewitwouldaffectiknewitiknewitiknewit.
damnitishldhafknowntofollowmyinstinctstheywereright
hownow
itwasgettingbetternowitsnolongeranditsallmyfault
maybeudunnoeitbutireallytreasurethisfs
imnottryingtovtmyselfnorbgu
butiguessatthisptoftimenthisaystandsanymorehuhh
inoeifiwereuiwuntrustmenolonger
soicantblameuifudun
ijust........
ijustdunnowadishlddoanymore.
When you're down in the dumps,
And nothing seems to be going right
You look for ways to overcome the humps
To add to your life, a lil light.
When you've become someone you don't recognize,
Or worse, someone whom you'd despise,
You just want to scream at the world
And blame everyone for bringing you in a whirl.
When something which used to make you smile
Becomes something oh-so-vile
Something which attacks your heart so
Dull ache, throbbing pain, you're at a new low.
When even doing what you love to do
Or being where you love to be
No longer can engage or excite you
You know it's time to face the facts seriously.
When work and committments are pressing you hard,
And it's time to stop thinking What If; But
You need to concentrate on the task at hand
To prove to yourself that you can.
Now you turn to friends to find support
To seek what people say cannot be bought
You appreciate and treasure their kind words and thoughts
And thank your lucky stars for these friends you caught.
But sometimes when even those you want to trust
Changes, You can't help but think of the past
And you wonder, maybe it's so true
That troubles come in packages too.
So when you're down in the dumps,
And nothing seems to be going right
It's time you learn to grow to be numb
Cos sometimes it helps no more, to put up a fight.
she uttered nonsense at 3:19 PM
Friday, September 01, 2006
Finally back home.
Contradictions. I love being at home, I do. But maybe cos I'm away too long alr, or rather, I'm never around. Sometimes, I just feel as though I'm not welcomed anymore, or that I lose touch to what's going on. It's like I don't get what they're laughing about, or talking about, cos I've missed so much. And nobody bothers to tell me, it's just to much to say.
It's worse when I get to my room, and see my stuff being exploited or gone. I feel quite sad, it's as if my room has become a common store room for everyone to take what they want or what they need, and never returning it until I ask for it. And it becomes that I'm the selfish, demanding one. I don't recognize my room, everything's not where it was when I left it. Things that nobody wants, or don't belong to anywhere in particular, all end up in there.
I don't know why I'm saying all these, I'm not exactly complaining, I just feel abit sad that I've missed out on so much. Sometimes I feel like a stranger looking at a family of four, smiling as they get on with their lives.
Maybe it's just now. I just want to feel belonged. I just need to feel that I belong to something, to someone. I'm tired of feeling excluded, of not ever knowing what is going on. Is it expecting too much?
Gut feeling says there is something, but the other part of me wants to believe that there isn't any. I want so much to believe. I want so much for someone to tell me I'm thinking too much. A sign, anything.
I hate that I'm always thinking of such stuff. I hate that I'm always worrying about what is going on. I hate that I can't convince myself to appreciate whatever I have left, however little. I hate that I can't be truly happy for some people who really deserve it, I hate that I'm being so selfish.
This sem, I want to concentrate on my studies already. No more monkey business. My aim is to pull up my GPA, even if it may just end up to be a little increase. I'm aware how difficult it'll be, seeing that my past sems' laziness will come back to haunt me in the form of 201. It'll be like studying for a 3-in-1 module, having to check back to the past modules constantly because of my poor foundation, but I'll do it.
For now, I need a hug. Anybody?
she uttered nonsense at 11:43 PM
你知道吗
我刚刚才发现到。我真的没发现你已做到这样了。
你知道吗
那霎那，我身体僵掉了。很痛。真的很痛。
可能你不知道我在指的是什么，我自己也觉得有些莫名其妙。已过了一段时间了，现在才发现到。可能你hint我很久了。
现在，我也只能怪自己了。要痛，也只能忍住。
给别人制造假象，笑一个吧。
我是不是无法在相信了。。。
she uttered nonsense at 3:04 AM
