Saturday, April 28, 2007
I must have seemed like an idiot, grinning to myself all the way back. And as I approached home, my smile got bigger, and I was so happy I think I almost bursted. Haha, I'm serious you know!!!
And there was a nice surprise waiting for me when I reached home. =D Tons of mails, which is surprising, a few new cards, and too bad I didn't get to use the sai zua properly! heehee.
There were these 3 boys sitting opposite me on the mrt, probably twelveish, couldn't be more than 15, and I couldn't help overhearing snippets of their conversation.
"Real men wear pink, man" I have to give that guy credit for that. And
"yeahh I used to study at the American School, I tell you, if I were still there, I'd get laid by now" THAT I couldn't help snickering. hehh.
I did alot of thinking the past 2 weeks while alone in hall. And that reminds me, it got so bad that when my brother called I refused to put down the phone cos I just wanted to hear a human's voice. Serious. Besides going for the exams itself, I was basically all alone, and the only thing I could talk to was bolstie. *sayangs bolstie* I brought her home with me this time. =D And of course unclexw who came up probably 5 times in the entire 2 weeks just to make sure I haven't already gone mad. HAHA.
I think I've changed quite alot. I think I'm no longer the miss nice girl that gets pushed around often, and neither do I want to be anymore. I used to think that it was so important to be well liked by everyone, that I want everyone to be my friend, you know, those kind of childish thinking, and I'd do anything just to please people. Although of course I'd complain secretly inside haha. Now I just think everyone is simply making use of everyone, and as they say, if you can't beat them, join them. I think ever since I stepped into antiyou, either I've let my guard up or I simply can't be bothered anymore, I don't seem to make any much close friends in school. Yes I know tons of people, acquaintances really, but no close friends I can think of immediately like that. I wonder if others really find really good friends in uni. I'm no longer afraid of going for classes alone, unlike how in the first 3 semesters I'd die die also plan the same timetable as keety so that I'd got someone to go to class with. But ever since this sem, by a stroke of luck (or un-luck), I've become so much more independent, that I find it a bother sometimes to wait for others to go to class with. Maybe it's knowing that I'd definitely know at least a handful of people in class, afterall the acc cohort isn't all that big. Well, for the entire semester I couldn't have said more than 10 words to her, but nearing the exams, she came over and asked 'heyy you study this this this alreadY? how you do this ah?' The old me would be thinking wth, but u noe wad, I'm perfectly fine with it now. You make use of me, I make use of you, we're all convenient friends, and what's so wrong about that? It's called networking isn't it. Maybe I've got enough close friends from the earlier years before uni that I don't try so hard anymore. And hey, who's to say you don't need to put in effort to network? I put in effort to go along on at least one outing with the antiyou people per semester okay. Ohmy, it sounds terrible doesn't it. hah.
And what is so wrong with being a swinging single? Note I said
swinging single, not bitter and desperate. haha. I don't think I really want to get married that much anymore. Well but I still want daughters though. Ohya, so jaekay, you know all the bets you guys were making? I'm so sorry, I think you're all going to owe me 200 buckaroos. haha was it 200?
I've got a new goal. I shall earn my own living, and live my own life. I'll work and earn just enough to pay off the bills and support my slightly frivolous lifestyle, and that's that. I won't be those super career woman at the top cos I don't have the capability nor drive to do so, but I'll be happy with earning a comfortable salary. I don't think I will stay in my parent's house, afterall, after 20 over years of having kids under the roof, I think they deserve their own little corner. I'll get a small studio-like place, preferably near town, and if I have nighbours with kids (not likely), I don't mind being that aloof jiejie whom their parents warn them not to get so close to. Heck, just for fun, I'd offer them sweets and see if they'll eat it. HAHA (think sleeping beauty and the poison apple) Oh but I'll be friendly, rest assured, just not THAT friendly. haha. I'll drive my own red beetle, not yellow anymore cos yellow's too cheerful eeks, and on friday nights or saturday mornings I'd go for spa or facial or yoga or wad, then I'd meet up with friends over the weekend. Sunday will be family day until at night where I'd get back to my cosy little bachelorette's pad and have a little me-time.
Been listening to oldies lately, they're my new addictions. My my, I must be getting old.
I'm on my way to being an ice queen, so help me will you? Remind me to not be tooooo cheerful or friendly ya.
/edit: ohya wanted to show you guys
this It's some mario thingy.. It's quite long but it's so worth it to watch to the end!! freaking hilarious. Lower the volume with the f words though.
Labels: discovering meself
she uttered nonsense at 12:36 AM
