narcissistic pleasure

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Feels like I've accomplished nothing. Nothing at all.

Not on the things that matter.

Don't leave me behind... will you slow down for me? Time, please wait for me.

Labels: emo

she uttered nonsense at 9:37 PM

Friday, November 14, 2008

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
I wish I could talk to you for awhile
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Been listening to this nonstop since the disgusting ass tee days since it's the only thing on my snr's playlist, but started loving it even more after froggie sent it over.

So earlier on after talking I felt much better, but then patience started it all over again when it became her turn to be upset, and I guess we started emoing haha. Maybe that's why we all become so emotionally attached to one another - you've seen each other through bad times, and will be seeing each other through worse times to come. Hopefully. And we need to stay strong, and more importantly STAY ON. Is it enough to say I love all of you; will that stop all the leaving?

I'll really miss you.

Labels: emo, music, work

she uttered nonsense at 1:01 AM

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Is this what you want?

... is it?

Labels: emo, work

she uttered nonsense at 12:30 AM

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I feel so used. goaway.

Labels: emo

she uttered nonsense at 4:20 PM

Sunday, March 18, 2007

So many things happened.

That evening on the platform, I couldn't control myself. Maybe it was the frustration, maybe it was the sudden realization, I dunno. It just all came out. I wanted to hide, I didn't want anybody to see, much less in public, but I just couldn't find anyplace else. I took the train back to boon lay, and went walking aimlessly ard jp. Then I felt better after that, just walking around in my own time, being uncontactable, as if I can really care less abt the world.

I think it's the understanding that he was right afterall, and yet I'm still trapped. It's the knowledge that others are already starting to be unhappy, even myself, yet I can't get out. I finally went back, and had a good talk with huns, and felt much much better. Although I think I may be easily persuaded by her haha, but we shall see.

Then on friday, just when I finally got past that, or rather started being more resigned to the fact, the call came. At first it was more of a 'fyi' thing, and I was worried, and I wanted to ask, but there wasn't time, so we hung up. So I still had quite a fun time at the celebration, thanks to victoria and feiling for that btw. Then after that he called again, this time updating me, and this time I got really worried, and I wanted to go, but thinking I was busy doing project, he said 'it's ok, don't be unduly worried'. Then today during rehearsal it just kept coming, and of course I was still worried, but I had things on my mind, things to settle, I guess it came off across the phone. And BOOM everything came up again.

Not being able to this, not being able to that.... Not, not, not.

Nothing I do seems right.

You know, sometimes it's not the blatant pinpointing and scolding that hurts, it's the silent disappointment that I detect that really aches.

I can't wait for these two weeks to be over. I want to fast forward. I feel like I can't breathe.

Pray with me, will you? pls.

Labels: emo

she uttered nonsense at 3:20 AM